CRY.

Pause

In my life, there will always be pauses and points. Most of these parts, one would often hear me say the phrase: “I’m going to write about this tonight.” And a pile of thoughts would come and I cannot simply put everything into order. Words are rushing out and I can barely make a phrase from those words.

Tonight, I would say that I am on that phase of life. I am in a period or pause and the words are rushing. I want to write but I cannot figure out if which part or writing I should do. Is it to write and share what occurred physically or to share what happened inside my heart? I am in a rush to let these words come out. I am in a rush to listen to my mind saying something while I am writing this post.

 I guess I’ll have to write about what happened inside my mind. My mind is powerful not because I have the superpowers but because I believe that I have something in me that scream: “Listen to me for I have amazing words to say.” Realizations would and appear then, lessons will be learned.

Maybe this is the reason why I am moving on and starting a new blog. I would then leave the past behind and then hopefully move on and forget every single bad thing that occurred but remember every single lesson learned. I am not moving on because I am scared of my past, I believe that I have overcome it and the prize of those things has been paid 2000 years ago. There are a lot of maybes inside my mind but one thing is certain. I am moving on because I believe that is what HE wants me to do. I won’t delete my old blog because those are evidences of my past but maybe there is something good about making a fresh start. A start that would mean happiness and fulfillment in glorifying His name; that is what I believe I should do. I should start again and be an instrument of changing the lives of the people around me.

back when love was unbearable

love is an overrated word often misinterpreted by people. it is word often misused as something special but really, it is not. love is a common word said by teenagers, not to their parents to someone whom they mistaken as special of "the one." 

 what is love really?

for me, love is something genuine. love begins with God and it has no ending. it is a continuous action that everyone enjoys. love is all about security, trust, hope and forgiveness. love has something to do with both reality and dreams. love is a free gift that everyone enjoys from God.

-seriouslyBLUE-

P.S.: To be expounded soon. :)

Pantit

and i am writing my first post of dedication to the people who inspired me in living life. i thought choosing on who to put first will be difficult but as i discern on the ranking, i realized that ranking is never important because everyone is playing different roles in my life. 

for now, i want to share the story i wrote a couple of weeks ago inspired by a real incident. this is for Kuya Francis.

Francis

i settled for the place outside a big store. i placed my belongings at the right side while munching on the rotten corn I got from the trash can nearby. my stomach has been growling, i have not eaten since yesterday lunch so, i chose to compete with the worms and ate the only food i found; a sweet corn. but i can no longer tastes its sweetness and i didn't care. i choose to survive than to die but i still need to cry.

i want to cry for help and mercy. i want my questions to be answered. i want to testify and return the justice taken away from the different people that were cheated and lied.

i am a street child but that does not mean i am not capable of doing something. 

i help people but most of the time, they judge me to be someone i am not. 

will their perception change? will they see me differently?

the story above was inspired by an incident where my friend was almost robbed but because one of our companion saw the robber, he was able to prevent the act from happening. at some point, i got scared. i mean, i often walk on that street alone and i am mindless of the things going on but that incident changed it. it allowed me to think and ponder and to be very mindful with the things going on around. 

the street is a place where the impossible happens. it is where we see street children, robbers, scam artists, vendors and the likes. when we try to look things at a different perspective, we often see that beauty is present on the streets. it is where we see hope a midst diversity and trials. the street is where people continue to live despite the inequality felt. 

Kuya Francis was the guy who prevent the incident from happening. he is a hero at some point yet he continues to live the way he does. he is humble and kind and he sees things differently and i am happy that he was the instrument who guarded us from the bad people. 

he is an inspiration. 

soon, i'll be walking on that street again and if you will ask me if whether i am scared or not, i would answer no. NO because i believe that SOMEONE is always guarding me anywhere i go. i believe that i am not alone. i am a princess and a princess deserves to have angels and guards to protect her and i believe that i am surrounded by the proper people who are my angels, guards, sisters and brothers.

i feel special and i think that is what each one of us should feel because truth is, we really are special. 

love lots, 

Sheena

a dedication

my recent tweets:

i never thought i will be this happy. :D #amazed

and i thought today will be another stressful day.. :)

my latest FB Status:

and my day ended the way it should be. :) happy. fulfilled. saturated. secured. blessed.

i often wonder if what lies ahead, whether it be good or bad, i am still hopeful that things will turn out well in the end. i often tell everyone that i have been having those "busy" days yet i still have that positive vibes in me. i still want to enjoy and smile a lot because that is how it should be. aside from the "busy" days, i am also having the amazing days, weeks and months of my life. yes, my days were filled with struggles but at the end of the day, i can still say that God is great and He is writing my life story perfectly. 

as the year comes to an end, i would like to devote grab the chance of posting entries more often thus, each day i would dedicate a blog post to someone who has influenced me this year. this is a sort of thank you gift for all the good things that everyone did to me. i also want to show my appreciation to everyone who inspired in walking the path i think is right and for me. 

happiness can be contagious and i hope that with the stories that i will be sharing in the next few days will inspire you to appreciate the good things that has been going on in your life. 

life is awesome when you will know how to balance it and when you will know how to live it. and by living it, i mean doing things all for the glory of God. it is not about the actions but our intentions. God sees the heart and i believe that each one of us is capable of seeing other people the way God sees them. 

i am really excited to post my first dedication blog but i'm still deciding on who to put on my list first. 

don't forget to check on my blog tomorrow for the first person, who knows? 

it might be you!

-seriouslyBLUE-

 

 

all to you

today is the first of december and i feel like i already broke my promise of blogging more often this year. well, i have lots of excuse in not doing so and explaining it to everyone won't be that easy and i might take up too much of your time. i think it will be enough to say that i am busy yet happy. as the last month of the year starts, i feel like the previous amazing and disheartening events in life happened for years because thought of denial to the thought of acceptance is so far yet they have been cramped up in a year!

imagine being able to mingle with hundreds of people, each of them has stories to tell. i have been in love, fallen out of love and most of all: loved. i have been struggling with different things yet i became secure that something better is about to come. my year has been a roller coaster ride and sharing everything to you will never be easy. i think the best word to describe the last eleven months of my life will be FAITH.

i am in faith that no matter what circumstance i am in, i will still be able to survive and glorify my Creator's name. i still believe that all of my hopes and dreams will come true even if failures and heartaches happen. life is beautiful when one will truly embrace its real meaning.

i have been ask if what do i think is my purpose in life, i stand still and quiet. i did not know how to answer a common question that has been giving everyone a difficulty in answering. sooner though, i realize that my purpose in life is to have a relationship with HIM. He who is great, merciful, loving and kind. He who wants nothing but the best for everyone. at some point, i am happy that i was able to know this purpose and it is my hope that everyone of us will have a relationship with God.

i think you already have an idea of what i have been up to; i am busy in serving Him and in showing to the world what He is capable of doing and His capabilities are just amazing and mind-blowing.

i want to live each day of my life praising Him and glorifying His name because He deserves it.

Romantic Relationship: Heartaches and Joys

I will be lying if I'll say I don't care about romantic relationships because honestly, I do. I think of who is my partner a lot lately and I think of what kind of future will we be having. Yes, I am that serious when it comes to relationship. I care more about the future other than the present. I do not want to be in a relationship just to have someone to hug and to hold hands with because honestly, I have a lot of guy friends who are willing to hug me and hold my hands. I do not feel the pressure of having a boyfriend right now because I know that the right time will come for him to arrive and besides, I do not want to compromise. 

I have had my own stories of heartaches and pains and I am not bitter. Yes, I am scared to be hurt but I do not really think that there should be a reason that I should be hurt because if he is the one then he would treat me right. 

Everyday, hearts get broken and some people tend to hate each other then my thoughts are; if only they are willing to wait and not hurry love these things will not happen, if only they will wait that they will be established and successful, then they will not cry over someone who is not even worth the time and effort. 

The one for you will come when you are happy and in love with yourself. I am not saying this just because I am babbling, I am saying these things because at some point, I was the person who hurries love and who gets easily brokenhearted. I was the person who never believed that love can wait but look where I am now. Yes, I was broken but I am slowly making my way to what I call as a new beginning.

 I am moving on and I hope people who has the same attitude as I have will change too. This will really make a better world. :)

-Sheena-